Power of Speech - Rest in iPeace

It's hard to believe that just one month ago I was looking to the sky and begging the clouds to drop some snow on Christmas Day to make it feel more festive. Now I look to the sky and curse the clouds for dropping snow - which in turn instantly turns to slush, causing me to realise my car isn't as fabulous as I once thought. I so hate owners of 4 x 4's right now.

For my sins, I drove in the adverse weather conditions at the weekend to stay with my cousin in Essex. She's just discovered free online games on her "Smart Phone" and become a little bit addicted. Everywhere I turned someone was on their poxy phone looking at WhatsApp, WeatherApp, TwatApp etc. I bet more and more people will be requesting to be buried with their iPhones, not because they can call for help if they miraculously wake up, but so they can check what's new on "WhatsApp".
I don't care what pro-iPhoners have to say about this - they do make people social retards. So called "Smart" phones are killing the long-established art of conversation. A normal conversation about ten years years ago would go something like this;

"Hey Fred, is that actor, Jack Lemmon, still alive? It's been driving me mad"
"Erm, not sure mate......Hey Dave, is Jack Lemmon still alive?"
"He's the bloke in Some Like It Hot right?"
"Yeah that's him"
"Brilliant film, very funny, a defining film for Marilyn Monroe I think you'll both agree"
"Oh definitely I totally agree Dave, Marilyn Monroe was a very talented woman, but is Jack Lemmon still alive?"
"No mate, I think he died a few years back. Shame really"
"I know. Such a great actor".

Here's how this conversation would take place today;

"Hey Fred, I just found out on my iPhone that Jack Lemmon died."
"Bummer".

Not only did the iPhone kill that conversation, it killed the discovery that two friends had a similar taste in common AND the need for a third person to get involved. It's a social conversation murderer. I rest my case. You mark my words, children will soon forget the art of normal plain English. Its bad enuff tht ppl r tking in txt spk lk its a nrml lange. Teens are using ridiculous words and phrases like "Totes" and "It's well ream". I have absolutely no idea what kids are saying nowadays. Their conversation may as well be in double Dutch. In fact I'd probably understand double Dutch better. In fifteen or twenty years, maybe not even as long as that, they'll be no need for schools. What would usually take a teacher half an hour to teach you, a kid could look up on their iPhone in two minutes. Schools will become obsolete and there will be born a different kind of education system: iSchool. Parents will be forced to buy their children iPhones or iPads to be educated at home. Let's face it, the Government are always looking for ways to save money. Middle schools across the country have already been closed down, what's to stop it going further than that?

Maybe I'm putting ideas into their heads. Or maybe they're already planning on doing it and I've unwittingly blown a whistle and they'll soon be beating down my door to silence me! Maybe I'll iShutup and go to iBed now. YAY iPhones, God I love iPhones, they're SO great, shutting down schools - HA! Genius idea! Or should I say iDea AHAHAHAHA....*nervous laughter fade out*......