Bike Wankers - part 2

I almost came head to head with cyclist this morning. Well I say head to head, more like bumper to back wheel. Now I don't know much about riding one of these prehistoric tin machines, but Bike Wankers have some kind of signalling system...am I right? Isn't it something like stickng your arm out to the side like a dyslexic trying to do a "Hail Caesar?" Well anyhow, this B.W obviously hadn't quite mastered it so decided to omit it's signalling system.

It's bad enough being stuck with a cyclist in front of me on the roads at the best of times, but being stuck behind one for quite a distance along a road which is too narrow and windy for me to overtake is enough to flip me over the edge. Or should I say, flip them over the edge...into the roadside ditch. We approached a roundabout and I was to turn left. He never signalled so I assumed he was going straight ahead, so I wait (surprisingly large amount of patience of my behalf this morning) for him to go before I turn left. Bike Wanker turns left. Patience runs out. I take off so fast I almost do a wheel spin! I zoom past him in 2nd gear so I can rev my engine angrily at him to show I'm pissed off. I got as close as I possibly could to really put the shit up him and I'm so frustrated that I can't bump him off his bike I'm almost close to tears! (slight exaggeration but something along those lines).

There are many things which bring me joy in life; explaining to children there isn't really a Father Christmas, finding out the school bully grew up to be a single mother on the dole, watching small children cry whilst watching The Lion King after I explain that in real life Simba would eat both Timon and Pumba, then a hunter would shoot Simba dead and display his mounted severed head on his louge wall.

I'm joking of course. I don't think lion's eat warthogs.

But the thing that would bring me most pleasure would be the playful splat of a cyclist hitting the side of my car as I hilariously pull out in front of them. Oh I'm sorry...did I forget to signal??