A Walk On the Bright Side

I woke up this morning still feeling shit, but I've had a great idea. Shocking I know. I've decided on a way to perk myself up, even if it's only temporary it could at least start the ball rolling. It's difficult to go out and have fun when you're very strapped for cash, but by buggery I'm going to do it! On a budget! I have my work cut out.

I've had to be thrifty before; when I was living in Wales things were so hard at times we had to have breakfast cereal for dinner on a number of occasions! And it was the cheap nasty supermarket own brand cereal too. When I moved back to the land of the living (although probably not the most accurate description for Lowestoft), I found a job right away at the local holiday camp and even had my own lodgings. Granted it was gobshite and I had to share it with ants, but at least it was cheap! After I left that job I had to move back in with my folks. It's safe to say I had no worries about budgeting then. The rent was ridiculously cheap and I had no bills other than my mobile bill. You'd have thought previously living on the breadline amongst a sea of red bills would make one a bit more wise and prudent. Not so. Now I had the taste of earning my own money again, I fucked the budget up the arse. My motto was "If ya like it, buy it"! Oh what a naive young lady I was.

After I moved out of my parents house and in with a couple of mates from work, I found I had to tighten the purse strings a little bit more. Not enough to have to buy supermarket own brand I might hasten to add *retch*, but just enough so I wasn't in danger of having my new, financed, car repossessed. When one housemate eventually found a new place to live, and the other took a job in a different city and had to move, I found I couldn't afford to live in the place on my own, so back to the parents I went! Splitting my time between home and Douchbag Darrens flat was a bit of a strain on the finances, he being a tight bastard about spending cash on anything else that wasn't alcohol, but I was never exactly what you'd call "destitute". Nor did I feel the need for a credit card at that point. Then, in the Summer, I got the dreaded credit card to enable DD to pay for an extra five years on his Grandparents headstone at the local fancy cemetary. He didn't have the cash, he'd been refused a credit card, and they wanted payment up front. I was a fool, so I paid for it on the ole credit card and he paid me back in (very low) repayments every month. In hindsight (not much fucking use is it, hindsight??) I should've just let him deal with it somehow, because after we split up he rubbed it in my face that he still owed me about fifty quid. I hope a pikey nicks his bicycle, the washed-up alcoholic bike wanker. Not that I'm bitter.

So back to the subject of fun! My now rather large credit card bill and soon to be be bigger pay-out every month means I can't be having a great time whilst spending too much money. There's a Jason Biggs film (Jason Biggs, you remember him? The one-trick American Pie pony?), it's called Loser. In the film, he dates a girl who shows him how he can have a great day/evening whilst not spending any more than a few dollars. I bet there are plenty of free events and tourist attractions in Ipswich. Ok so maybe not great ones, but maybe some of them will be semi-interesting?! I'm going to trawl through the local Tourist Info, plus I'm going to start using...dare I say it....coupons. Yes I know it's a bit skanky but it's the kind of prudence that will turn pennies into pounds! Maybe even water into wine, seeing as I'll be saving enough money to buy Merlot rather than twenty size pence bottles of Tesco water.

I've been thinking about all the things that made me happy when I were young; making up dance routines with mates, listening to my cassette tape on the kitchen stereo through the worlds largest headphones, spending all my two pennies in the amusement arcades and winning as many tickets as I could - even though after spending around tenner I still only had enough tickets to buy a few lollipops and a single bubblegum with free tattoo. Time spent building sandcastles on Leigh-On-Sea beach was so great! It still makes me smile when I remember the excitement of my parents driving us to the seaside and that moment when the smell of salt and seaweed drifts in through the windows and you know you're getting close! Me, Emma and a few mates went to the beach a few months ago. We built sandcastles and we didn't care how stupid we looked! It was bloody hilarious.

With this in mind I'm compiling a list of things to do that made me happy in the past and I'm going to spend the next month or two doing every one of them. Regardless of whether they're stupid or childish (within reason!) I'm going to do it! If dragging a few mates over for a karaoke/dance night is what it takes to put a spring back into my pigeon-footed step then so be it. If anybody has any suggestions please feel free to put them forward, no matter how silly it is (again, within reason. I won't for example streak naked through the local football pitch, or anything else along those lines, or do anything that might actually put my own life in danger!). I'll do every one of them and post the evidence right here on Blogspot!

School's out!

If I could turn the page in time then I'd re-arrange just a day or two...

Neglecting my Blog again. Yes I'm useless. When I stay at Mr Z's I like to avoid sitting in front of the laptop screen for long periods of time, it's usually much nicer to just cuddle in front of the TV! When I'm staying at Em and the Mexican's I feel a bit cheeky always borrowing their laptop. If I weren't in such a financial black pit at the moment I'd get a iPad (yes I admit I will eventually succumb to the "iGang"), then I could Blog on the move and look all professional and posh. Or something.

Not really feeling too inspirational in regards to writing this week. I may have pissed off Mr Z a tiny bit. I've been pretty stressed this last month, and I'm not by any means making up any excuses, but when I get stressed and worried about things I do have a tendency to snap a little bit. I don't even realise I'm doing it some times. Although to be fair, isn't that a woman thing in general...? But I think I've probably taken a step too far, now we're "cooling off" a little. Just writing that sentence makes me go cold (that actually wasn't a pun). I'm sure from previous experience most of you will know what "let's have a little break" or "We need to spend a bit less time together" really means. I hope I'm wrong - it's not very often somebody like Mr Z comes along and makes me feel as happy as he does. I'm confident once I settle into a new place (yep, still living out of a suitcase!) and I can stop feeling like I'm in everybody's way and I'm pissing everybody off for just generally existing....maybe he'll see me for the person I am on a normal day-to-day basis when I'm not so terrified I've made the wrong decisions again. So many times I've not managed to make things work out before, be it relationships, work or lifestyle, I've fluffed up a bit. Again. I'm training my mind to think positively, although it's a little hard at the moment. Maybe I'll write to Richard Gere, or Cat Stevens, and see how turning Buddhist has worked out for them...? I'm joking of course - I'd never have the guts to shave my head.

On the opposite end to being a douche, I had the fabulous news this week of my new baby niece arriving into the world at an eye-watering 9lb 14oz. Luckily for my brothers girlfriend she was a c-section baby. Imagine if she'd had to give birth naturally! Walking through the town on a windy day she'd whistle like crazy......

So, from within a depressing week came a shining light. I get to cuddle baby Molly tomorrow and be a proud Aunt, all the while hoping that she never listens to any of my relationship advice.

Soap-box City

People on buses who piss me off: Those who play "Guess the Theme Tune" then proceed to sing the most annoying theme tunes ever created. People who arrive at the bus stop at the last minute and then barge on to the bus with no consideration for the fact you've been waiting there for the last twenty minutes. Children. People who listen to their music without earphones (and why is it always SHIT music???). People who choose to have very private conversations, very loudly, on their phones. People who walk past you whilst you're still sitting on the bus and smack you round the head with their shopping bags, not bothering to apologise for their attempted GBH. People who sit on the aisle seat and dump their handbag on the window seat so that nobody can sit next to them. I think that's about it. I've only just started using public transport again after around ten years, so I'm sure there'll be more issues to come. Having to sit next to somebody who smells bad would rank (rank being the operative word) pretty high on the list too. A few of these issues could be solved by my iPod, but unfortunately I have no earphones and I refuse to be one of those annoying people! Plus my playlist is a bit embarrassing. God I hate public transport.

I'm a bit (ok, a lot) grumpy today. It's been a long week. I've been playing Game Of War with a virus who seems dead keen to take me down, but I refuse! I'm taking all types of medication I could possibly take without overdosing, plus I've never eaten so many oranges in my life. Having to work whilst feeling run down is not helping, but due to the current state of my finances (bad. Quite bad) I don't have much choice. That and almost crashing my car into a complete wankbag who pulled out in front of me today, together with not spending any evenings with Mr Z this week (an attempt to limit my germ spreadage), has left me feeling a tad sorry for myself. I'd say the money thing was top of my list of worries right now though. I looked at a very nice house-share on Monday and I'm really excited about the thought of moving in, but the deposit is £900 and that just doesn't exist to me right now! But this house is amaaaaaaaziiiiiiiiiing! I've already planned my moving in party and pictured where my slow cooker would sit in the kitchen (which has a huge oven and lots of prep area....YAY!!!!).

Thank god it's Friday tomorrow. I'm feeling a bit better health-wise, so hopefully I've already given my virus to the asshole on the bus who couldn't guess the theme tune to Bob The Builder.