Summer Holiday: RIP

Oh dear. Back in the UK again. I try not to complain too much about this country (I mean the actual UK itself,not the weirdos and chavs and politicians who roam it. I've plenty to complain about those) but when you enter into 8 degrees after flying away from 32 degrees, it kind of puts things into an obvious perspective. Our weather is shit. When we landed in Gatwick the cold was almost unbearable. Anybody would think I'd been living in Cyprus for years, but after a mere seven days I had already become acclimatised to the heat, so getting out of the plane at Gatwick felt like walking into someone's Smeg. With the icebox on overload. Since I've been home the sun has come out a few times but it's still too cold to sunbathe. Instead, I've been sunbathing on my lounge carpet where the sun shines through the window. Desperate measures. I make myself an ice cold daiquiri and pretend I'm back in Cyprus. Just without the blue sky, azure sea, white sand, gorgeous waiters, pool, great food, etc. 

The wedding was fabulous. The bridesmaid was amazing *ahem*. All the wedding guests were lovely and there were no fights! (a little disappointing). I'm not into public displays of emotion (from myself. Other than rage of course) but even I had a few tears in my eyes. Probably the sun shining in them...*cough*. Getting the bride into her dress (how many fucking eyelet holes does one dress need???? God dang fiddly ribbon!) and walking down a fuckload of stone steps in heels were the only two hairy moments. I had a little trouble getting the dress done up and, even though she didn't say so, I could sense Sarah starting to stress. The steam coming out of her ears was a subtle sign. Going down the huge steps I heard Sarah whisper; "Are you ok Leigh Anne"? All I could muster was; "Mmhmmm", as I tried desperately not to arse over my dress train. I've not concentrated that much since school! Ha! Who am I kidding; as if I ever concentrated at school!

My only issue with the holiday was our hotel charging for wifi use. Charging!!! Oh if only I'd known some Greek swear words. It took me five days to learn to say Hello, and that was just in English. Kidding. It's sad when you reach a stage where you're in a beautiful country with lots of things to do and lots of cocktails to drink, but the most important thing is finding somewhere with free wifi. Each time we found a place with free wifi I felt as if I'd found an air bubble after having trouble breathing. Such a sad turn of events. But, all was fabulous! Sarah and Kirk are married and happy, and I didn't fuck up in my role of Bridesmaid. I didn't even get burnt! I rejected Stavros the waiters offer of a "stroll" along the beach. I didn't hire a quad bike and crash into a restaurant. Nor did I get seriously drunk and puke outside a kebab shop. In fact I think it's best I go back and try again! After all, I am a perfectionist. 

Kalimera Stavros....!