Feeling Hot Hot Hot

I'm now going to hold my hand up and say: I'm an idiot. For the last few days we've been blessed with unusually hot weather, and the sun has been "Scorchio" degrees. I sat out all morning yesterday - minus sun cream - thinking "well it's hot but I probably won't catch the sun". My ruby red chest tells me otherwise. Not one to be deterred by simple things like third degree burns, I went out again today and finished off the white bits from yesterday. I actually put sun cream on today though. Now I'm half red and half pink. Lovely.

I think it's a British thing. We very rarely see the sun through all the rain clouds, so when we finally get a peep of it we deck out our garden with sun loungers and towels, we dust off the garden table out from the back of the shed, and Mum gets the parasol out for when the heat gets too much for her. Dad's are lookingly at the skies, grasping that burger flipper in their hands and standing poised ready to fly outside to the BBQ the minute the sun rises. At the end of a nice sunny day you can see bright red, sweaty British tourists flooding back to the car from the beach, hobbling along with sand in their flip flops, clattering along with buckets and spades, and little Tommy still crying over his dinghy which got swept away in that pesky tide that came out of nowhere. You know what I hate about kids on the beach...? Kids on the beach. They have signs for people with dogs saying "Please Pick Up Your Mess", why can't there be a sign for people with children saying...."Please Pick Up Your Mess". I've seen more kids dropping their lolly wrappers and pissing in the sand then I've seen dogs shitting on the beach. And please, for the love of God, when your kid has a snotty nose - please wipe it! There's nothing more off-putting when you're eating your chips then catching sight of a kid with sand stuck to their facial snot.

I think the most disturbing thing for me, in the summer, is when everybody starts stripping off in public. Now before you start thinking, heck I wouldn't mind that! Just remember this - have you ever seen anyone other than people over 20 stone and people over the age of 50 stripping off on your local beach...? If you have than I can assure you that you are the minority! There's something about the sunny weather that makes extremely unattractive people think that stripping off in front of other people is completely acceptable. On the beach - fine, if you really have to. But please use several wind-breakers that we don't have to look at you. I see young chavs walking through the town with their tops tied around their waist and dirty chavvy girls walking through town in just tracksuit bottoms and their bras. I'm no prude, but who could even think about walking into a shop in just their bra?? At least I had the dignity to sunbathe in my own garden where nobody could see my white bits!

So now I'm sitting here, feeling just a teensy weensy bit woozy and wishing I could stop being British for just a moment and be sensible enough to sit under a parasol and have a break from the sun rays eating away at my delicate English skin. I think an overnight break would be just enough time before the next sun session...? Yes that sounds reasonable to me.