Get off yer bike

I am about to offend any cyclists reading this. But I don't care, because you can all kiss my "pissed off with getting stuck behind you" arse...!

Whenever I'm driving along and I suddenly see a cyclist ahead of me, I instantly become stressed out. The urge to ram into their back wheel becomes almost completely over-whelming. It's not so bad if there's a wanker lane on the road especially for them to get the fuck out of my way, but especially when you're driving down a two-way narrow road and you're unable to get past them because of oncoming traffic, I am almost close to tears at the injustice of it not being legal to knock down cyclists when you're in a hurry.

Today, as I was driving home, I noticed a massive queue of oncoming traffic tailing back about 2 miles. Who was riding merrily along his way at the front....? Yes. Bike Wanker. The roads between here and where I work are long and windy, with too many bends to risk overtaking anybody without getting involved in a head-on collision. This particular B.W (as they shall now fondly be named) was cycling very slowly, almost like he knew the traffic was built up behind him and he was taunting them. Even though I wasn't the one caught behind him, I felt like giving him a ever-so-slight "nudge" off into the verge. But then he'd only cause more traffic due to the emergency services who would have to block the road off to save the petrol-shy tossbag.

My advice to B.W's...? Get a fucking car!!! You may have more money to spend out every month but it'll be a lot preferable to the money you'll lose through taking time off work because somebody, completely unidentified, who may be driving a Ford Focus but there were no witnesses to see, has knocked you off your bike and caused, hopefully, a fair bit of physical pain.....!