I've decided that I am definately going to lose some weight this year. I'm going to take it seriously from now on. I said this yesterday morning and then accidently had a latte and a cheesecake for lunch.....no really, it was a complete accident, like a mysterious force had taken over my body. One moment I was at my desk eating a bowl of tuna nicoise, the next thing I know I'm sitting in Howards Tea Rooms clutching a fork and staring at the most beautiful desert I've ever seen in my life. My one consolation is that it came with a side portion of blueberries so as far as I'm concerned, I had one of my five a days and therefore that cancels out the cheesecake.
I have a Wii Fit but not enough space to set it all up. That's the god honest truth. I may have to forfeit the sofa to make some room. I have 2 exercise dvds and a Strcitly Dance dvd so I'm going to start doing them. I'm not going to join the gym because I really can't build up that motivation to get into my car and drive there. Plus it's pretty expensive anyway. As soon as this arctic-like weather goes away I'll be doing more walking (to the pub).
I've never met a single person who is 100% happy with their body. If anybody says they are they're lying. On the odd occassion I've had a slim friend say to me, "god I feel fat, I think I'm going on a diet". I could slap them. Unless your boobs touch your stomach when you sit down you are not bloody fat! A lot of skinny women say things like that to fish for compliments. A guy I know, a very vain guy, used to come in to work sometimes cluching his (non-existant) stomach saying "I feel really fat today, do you think I look fat"? "Yes you do" I'd say, "In fact you're starting to get that cheesy, fishy, fat person smell about you." He would then leave the room to sob into his non-fat latte. Of course he didn't look fat, and he knew it, he just wanted me to confirm that there was nothing wrong with him. As I've stated in a previous blog; I do not flatter ego's.
My weight has been up and down like a yo-yo over the years. I did get quite slender at one point when I was working at Pontins. This was mainly because the food they served staff wasn't fit for dogs. In fact it looked like something a dog would hurl up. There was a little staff kitchen for those who lived on-site, but it always looked like someone had been pissing up the walls and nobody ever cleaned anything up after themselves. I never worried about going to the doctors for penicillin if I had an infection; I'd just wander into the staff kitchen and scrape some off the toaster. But now I'm back up to a size 16 and in some shops I even have to go for a size 18. I feel pretty bad about myself. I actually avoid looking into the mirror at my body. My vital statistics last year were 40", 36", 40". This may seem a bit high but at least I was a perfect hourglass figure. Now I'm looking at a 42", 38" 41" figure. I don't really give a shit what size clothing I am (well, as long as it's a 16 or under), I just want to feel good about myself and fit into clothes nicely. I've found that clothes I was wearing last year which looked good on me now just look unflattering.
So now I'm on a mission to find a sport or type of exercise which I can enjoy whilst losing some weight. I'm cutting out all crap (except for the takeaway I'll be eating at the end of the month to celebrate my first pay check!) and reducing my carb intake. I already only eat food low in saturated fats so I'm going the right way about it. But god I love food and god it's going to be hard....and god I'm going to be grouchy.
So be warned, all you skinny women who dare to say to me that you "feel fat", whilst I'm on my diet; when fatty is hungry, she'll eat anything....even very lean meat.
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